Sunday, November 9, 2008

A nickel in my shoe begins... 24 weeks

Why a nickel in my shoe?   I began trying to change things in my life 2 years ago, and I started riding a bike.  On my rides, I put a penny in my shoe, just an irritant, to remind me that challenging people in our lives are that way because they have their own challenges, and that I should be patient with them.  I thought of donating a penny a mile, maybe "Pennies for Peace", maybe something like this.  This was while Floyd Landis was winning the Tour de France, which made it all fit for this background-similar-to-Floyd bicyclist.  Alas, the French lab LNDD became the nickel in Floyd's shoe.  Oh, and the penny changed to a nickel on October 2, 2006, on the news from Nickel Mines, PA.  It's not only the pain from an event like this, but the lingering scars that people, myself included, don't fully grasp.  So a little five gram, five cent irritant in my shoe is nothing compared to what survivors of rape and abuse go through.  We all need a cause, a charity ride of our choice, to get us out there riding.  This one didn't affect me directly and wasn't mine by choice, but it's mine now.



My immediate worry, though, is the stress this has put on me that I haven't handled with the grace and skill I would have preferred.  I'm trying to change that over the next 24 weeks.  Google the phrase "24 weeks" and you get a lot of results with the word "pregnant".  That's how I look:   you can measure my tummy in centimeters.  So in 24 weeks, I need to shed my 60 pound "baby". Maybe my water broke today.  Why?  I hit a milestone in 24 weeks.  This year was my first of 5,000 miles on a bike, unless of course I just jinxed it with 52 days and 300 miles to go.  I've known the pain and joy of lugging my xxx lbs up my nemesis canyon in the hills near my house this summer.  I want to feel the joy of what it's like at (xxx * 3/4ths) lbs.  I've had my ups and downs, but contrary to what some dream killers have told me, the key to success in difficult challenges is having tried and failed before.  Everest, the 4 minute mile, you name it.  If it's not something easy or trivial, you have to fail, pick yourself up, and try again.  Sometimes it pays to be smart about the challenge.  Sometimes, when the big hill in front of you would only invoke fear, ignorance is bliss.  Day 1.  I'm scared.  I need your support and prayers.

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